hugs are the best form of comfort
by valdezy
Summary: Grief is a nightmare in itself, a lesson Hiro knows all too well. Baymax does his best to help him through it.


Tadashi is gone. That is the only thing that Hiro is absolutely, really, truly certain of. And it breaks his heart. Every time he looks around the room - the one they shared, the one they fought in, the one they were _brothers _in, he feels like he's going to break. Everyone else is affected but no one was as close to Tadashi as Hiro was and it's like losing a piece of himself. Tadashi was his big brother, his support, his best friend.

And Tadashi is gone, no matter how much everyone insists he isn't, not really. There is no 'if we remember him', because Tadashi would never be back. Not in the way Hiro needs him. He'd never be there to rush in on his motorcycle and save the day, or hurl Hiro into the air just to spark creative energy. He'd never joke around with or get lectured by or hug Tadashi again, and it makes him crack inside, tearing at the seams little by little.

Hiro hasn't cried yet, and it's been weeks. He knows that it's not healthy, not good, to keep it all bottled up and contained inside until he explodes. But he can't do it, can't call tears to his eyes or a scream to his throat. He just feels empty. Empty and sad and without a purpose. Tadashi isn't there, and sometimes, Hiro wonders if he should be either.

His friends are worried; the soft ping of a new video message breaks the silence of his (not Tadashi's, not anymore) room every night. Aunt Cass gets phone calls daily, his phone is continually buzzing from underneath his bed where he threw it, and Honey Lemon even gets desperate enough to send him letters. Aunt Cass knocks softly on his door every day, tiptoeing around him like he's glass about to break, and Hiro can't really bring himself to say anything, because that's how he feels.

Sometimes his friends come to the café - he hears them talking to Aunt Cass, the hushed voices and quiet concerns filtering through his door. They only came up once, trying to get him to react, to speak, to move. But he can't. He's frozen in place, because all he can feel is that terrible, horrible, blankness. He doesn't remember the last time he talked to someone or the last time he ate or the last time he really slept.

Tadashi was the rock that he leaned his whole world on, and now Hiro is freefalling with nowhere to land.

* * *

><p>Baymax is his cushion, both literally and figuratively.<p>

The robot is what keeps Hiro holding on, because Baymax really is his best friend. And Hiro knows - he _knows - _that Baymax is a robot and all that keeps him this way is a chip and coding, but Hiro also knows that Baymax is not _just _a robot. Hiro is a genius and he knows about robots and he knows that Baymax is really special, is really more.

Baymax catches him when he falls - out the window and out of his mind. When Hiro wakes up screaming and feeling the fire on his own skin, the taste of his regrets and the word 'Tadashi' an empty scream on his lips, Baymax is there. He's started staying up sometimes, listening for Hiro's screams and thrashing; because Hiro is his patient and Baymax needs to make sure he is fine. It's in his programming, although he knows that the feeling he has to protect Hiro is beyond that - it's the feeling, he finds out, of having a friend.

So Baymax does what he can. He downloads thousands of webapages, sifting through the information on PTSD and survivor's guilt and grief.

But Hiro's emotional pain is more than Baymax can handle, sometimes.

He doesn't know what to do when Hiro flinches at the red-hot glare of fire or when he hides under the bed because of loud noises. Tadashi's death may be what lay most heavily on the teenager, but the fire did it's damage to Hiro too, and Baymax doesn't know what to do, not really.

But he does what he can. Baymax starts giving him hugs more - physical comfort is often the best form of emotional healing - and he starts doing other little things, too. He figures out the best ways to calm Hiro down, the best ways to make him laugh, the best ways to make his bring up his emotional state. Flying helps, but Hiro always smiles when he's hugged.

* * *

><p>Baymax is gone for a few months. For about three months Hiro has no idea - he shoves Baymax's arm (the only thing he has left, it's Tadashi's hat all over again) in a box and he tries to move on. He pretends like he's fine - maybe he is, sort of - and he goes to classes, talks to his friends, plays video games and builds robots and beats criminals. He still has his friends, his <em>team, <em>and it's almost like everything is fine.

But there's still that empty space, that feeling like he's not really complete without his huggable robot. His best friend. It hurts to think about, but Hiro had lost both of his best friends in the course of less than a year, and he didn't stop either of their deaths.

Baymax had helped healed the scars of Tadashi's death, and, in way, that dulls the pain of Baymax's.

But at night Hiro has no distractions, no barriers, and no Baymax. The nightmares come back, in full force - a terrifying haze of colors and ruby-red heat and Tadashi screaming and Baymax floating away - and Aunt Cass comes up almost every night, breaking a little herself as she clutches Hiro and tries to hug away his pain.

* * *

><p>The first thing that Baymax sees is Hiro.<p>

It's a stunning parallel to his first real memories - the smiling face of Tadashi filling up his vision. Except now it's Hiro who stands in front of him, a little shocked but a smile bright on his face and his eyes wide with hope.

Hiro hugs him first, warm and happy and bubbling over with laughter; and Baymax thinks he finally understands why hugs are the best form of comfort.

* * *

><p><strong>and here we begin my descent into big hero 6 madness<strong>

**i've seen the movie twice already, and i still can't stop thinking about it - i've got like, ten more fics planned and idk how fast i'll be able to type them out but yeah you can expect a lot about this movie !**

**also, sorry if this seems kind of plot-less or messy? i wrote it with one idea in mind and then it turned into something completely different? either way, i'm all for happiness for the hamada family (baymax is an honorary hamada)**

**so let me know what you think! it would be beneficial to my health B)**


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